I woke up at 3:30 am this morning. Something bothered me, but I didn't know exactly what it was. It's been a while since I was overwhelmed by such kind of sadness. Maybe it was a news that I heard from a friend. Maybe it's a imperfect performance that caused my depression. Maybe it's a rude awakening of the fact that I really is way too old to do what I was frequently doing these days (and it made things worse when I saw it from what the others does). Maybe it was the girl that I met 10 years too late. Maybe it was a realization that I was far less talented than what I wish I could be. Or maybe it's all of the above.
No matter what the reason was (or were), I am pretty sure that I will forget about the whole mess and start getting busy on whatever I am going to busily work on, and it helps when I have such a short concern span and short memory.
My terribly short memory, what a beautiful double edge sword of my life, causing me so much pain and yet giving me so good a way out from desperate pain and sorrow.
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