So I screwed up a performance again

Something never change in life. For instance, I can NEVER rely on my brain to remember dance steps when I am on stage, because 95% of the time my brain will automatically go blank, and then all I can do is doing everything that my muscle memory learned.

I thought this would be different, and I was wrong.

So again, I was depressed after that 1 minute 15 seconds performance. Fortunately, I have stuff to pack and work to finish before tomorrow morning, so work occupied my time and kept me about from suffering in depression.

I also found that my ability to forget things after sleeping or a nap is both blessing and curse. For instance, sleeping allows me to forget about some painful experience in relationship. It also allows me to reset my mindset and thus able to tackle the problem in a totally different perspective. But that 10 minutes nap before my performance today also help whipping out the practice I did an hour before I took the nap. I am not saying that I blame the failure of my performance on that 10 minutes nap. I am just saying that it's probably one of the factor.

And if you wonder why I am writing all these while I am so utterly sleepy, that's because I will forget all these after I sleep.